Mickey Heals the World

“Mickey Mehta wants to work together with you to Heal the World. Will you join his cause?” the Facebook sidebar asks. Now here’s something I can’t resist, so I promptly go to Micky M’s Facebook page, which announces “Someone is changing the entire World Today. Click to see who”. My distrustful mind stops me from clicking – so much shady virus and spyware stuff on the internet, after all – but I’m willing to make a guess. Mickey Mehta, working together with all of us?

See, it isn’t only Anna Hazare. There are other selfless heroes and messiahs too striving for our salvation. Is it too much to ask that we lend our support if we don’t have broad enough shoulders ourselves to take on such a heavy task? Heal the World. How wonderfully smoothly that rolls off the tongue! Sign me up, Mickey dada!

But one second – Mickey Mehta? Somehow that sticks in my craw a bit. Sounds too much like Mickey Mouse. Surely his parents didn’t commit as rash and irresponsible an act as naming him Mickey? Then again, the name itself is clear proof that Mickey is an honourable man. After all, which self-respecting scamster would have chosen a name like Mickey Mehta? I mean, seriously, if you were some huckster, what name would you choose – Mickey Mehta or, say, Baba Ramnarain or Ustad Rampuri or pretty much anything else?

Yet I can’t help wondering what his real name might be – Mikhileshwar? No, that would have been Mithileshwar. Mikesh or Mikal? (Well, there are some odd Gujarati names out there, you know.) Mixtup? (OK, sorry, I have no business making fun like this of the serious business of naming.) Mikado (maybe he was born in Japan or something)? Micro (low birth weight maybe?) Mikamber?

No, I’m just not getting anywhere with this. Maybe he’s just plain Michael Mehta – after all, if there was a Michael Madhusudan Dutt, why can’t you have a Michael Mehta? Whoever you are, Mickeybhai, I do appreciate your volunteering to take on this onerous job. I don’t know a lot of people who would do that. In fact, I don’t know a single one.

But still – MICKEY Mehta? I’m sorry, but I think I’ll just wait and see a bit. Please don’t misunderstand, Mickeybhai. And if no Donald Desai comes along in the next few days, I'll be signing up with you for sure.